The appointment comes, and we go to soft play

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H’s paediatrician appointment has arrived. Turns out the GP hadn’t completed the referral correctly. His appointment is 3 June. That’s right, June!

I’m comforted by this because it means they don’t think his poor weight gain is urgent. I’m ticked because for the last 5/6 weeks I’ve been getting increasingly anxious and been doubting my abilities as a mother.

I had pretty bad PND (Post Natal Depression) when E was born, so much so that I didn’t bond with him until he was about 6-8 months old, so I’m prone to thinking the worst.

This whole experience has made me feel similar to how I did when I was sick. I’m in a mood, but I don’t know what mood. I know that I’m happy, rather than feeling it. I feel like I’ve been almost pushed into feeling this way by health care professionals who were just doing their jobs. Which means it isn’t their fault. But I need something to blame. The “snap” which brought this about is, I believe, getting the letter saying the appointment is in 8 weeks, so not classed as important. I guess I’m rambling now.

I know that tomorrow I might feel differently. I guess the good thing about recognising how I feel means that DH can keep an eye on it/me/the situation and let me know if he gets worried.

Now, for some more upbeat news, we took E to soft play today. It wasn’t too bad, he seemed to constantly be followed around by little girls desperate for his attention. He wasn’t keen. He just ran around the bigger kids part like a loon. After 90 mins some older children arrived and started racing around the equipment and pushing younger children out the way. We left after two hours, which isn’t bad considering for £5.99 he got two hours of play, beans on toast, and juice. The place is called Whales and Snails and it’s in Bolton, just if anyone is interested. Brilliant place, very clean! Also, really nice, and inexpensive food.

We came home and I retreated to bed with Jaffa Cakes and a book while both boys napped.

DH is on holiday all this week so I’m leaving him with the boys tomorrow and working on Wednesday. He seems excited, but very nervous! I can’t wait 🙂

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